Losing Direction

As soon as I say the word direction, I get S Club 8’s ‘New Direction’ stuck in my head – so bear in mind that when you read this, I’m currently doing some weird dance routine in my head which has nothing to do with the song…

Also, I wonder what happened to all of them?

Anyway… back to the brain dump.

I got a text a few days ago from a friend saying that she felt really lost and deflated right now, and even before I had finished reading it, I completely understood where she was coming from because I’m going through something similar.

April is a strange month because you feel as though everything that was unsettled at the start of the year should be showing signs of levelling out – but to me, that doesn’t feel like the case. If anything, it’s making me feel like I should have already done so much and achieved more than I have.

Yes, we’ve managed to buy a house within the first three months of the year which will be going through any day now, but I always knew that would come at some point in 2017, and don’t get me wrong, I feel like it’s a huge achievement to have under my belt and I’m very grateful in that respect.

I’ve also been on holiday twice, and have some great trips planned for this year, which I already can’t wait for and three weddings of people I love.

It’s more on a personal, work and blog level that I just feel a lack of direction.

The thing I struggle with most in terms of my career and blog is that I started out after everyone else. I went to university two years after I should have (for personal reasons) and I have always felt as though that has meant I’ve had to catch up with those who were the ‘right’ age when they were first employed.

And with blogging too. I started a blog originally back in 2010 when blogging was just taking off. I know if I’d stuck with it then I would be further along than I am now and maybe even be making a career of it.

I’ve worked hard to get where I am, but when I see people that are younger than me who have achieved more, sometimes I feel as though I’ve let myself fall behind or whether I’m in the right industry to progress quickly, or whether I should be doing something that is more worthwhile and that will help people, instead of making rich people richer.

And this is where I feel my life is losing direction.

I love blogging, I really do, but it always seems as though it will be just a hobby. One of my main aspirations in life is to work for myself and it would be my dream to have a blog that supports me, but right now I never see that happening.

Or maybe to own my own company or agency; but the market is so saturated with people all offering the same thing that I don’t know where I would fit in.

I thought 2017 would be a great year in terms of getting my shit together after such a rollercoaster last year, but right now I feel like it will be 2018 before I know it, and I won’t have achieved anything that I wanted to.

Please tell me I’m not alone! 

Most of the thoughts I have whizzing through my head relate to Instagram followers, and should I engage more on Twitter, but when can I engage on social media because I’m at work all day and is that why these ‘younger’ bloggers have a bigger following because they don’t work full time, or are still at uni and have the time to build their brand.

And should I ask for a promotion or will that look as though I’m being pushy? I haven’t been there long, but I know that I’ve done a bloody good job!

One of the things I really wanted to achieve for myself was to post more regularly on here, make a name for myself on the Manchester blogging scene and keep connecting with like-minded individuals and I guess there’s still time for that.

Although I’ve achieved it in some sense, I’ve got a long way to go as well – but hey, I’m 26… I’m in no rush!

Have you ever felt something similar? How did you snap out of it? 


xx

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